


i wish to dance in the gaps between the end

by i_was_human



Series: D.Min Week 2021 [7]
Category: Lost in Translation (Webcomic)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Background Relationships, D.Min Week 2021, Discussions of Suicide, Friendship, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Inspired by It's a Wonderful Life (1946), Possible Character Death, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:15:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29546409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_was_human/pseuds/i_was_human
Summary: What happens if the world is better without you in it?
Relationships: Kang Dongho | D.Min & Lee Minsoo
Series: D.Min Week 2021 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2167335
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	i wish to dance in the gaps between the end

Jun's the first to admit he's not the best angel.

Hell, that's probably why he hasn't been assigned to any cases before. Don't wanna put "Maverick Junsu" or whatever stupid nickname the other angels gave him on duty with any important humans, right?

He'll show them all, though. He'll show them - 'cause there's a human about to die within three blocks of him, and he's the first angel who can get there, so _fuck them_. He'll save this human _all on his own_.

The human's sitting on the edge of a bridge when he arrives, dark hair hanging in his eyes and jacket folded neatly on the railing next to him, and Jun lingers by the post for a second before moving closer, breath forming small clouds in the air.

"Bad night?"

The human's head jerks up, and Jun stares at him for a moment - at the dark circles under his eyes, at the way his greasy hair hangs around his jaw, at the look of _utter despair_ in his eyes - before taking a seat next to him.

"You're going to jump?"

The man silently nods, and Jun sighs, tipping his head back to stare at the sky.

"...what's your name?"

"...Dongho."

"Hm. Well, Dongho, _don't_."

"Why?" the human weakly replies, voice coming out as little more than a low rasp. "Why not...?"

"Because dying is stupid and selfish," Jun huffs, and he can _see_ Dongho deflate at that, the human's gaze dropping to his hands and pain flickering on his face.

"...I know."

Hm.

This isn't helping.

On second thought, maybe there _is_ a reason Jun's not allowed to work with humans.

"Why?" Jun tries, and Dongho bites his lower lip, pain flickering in his dark eyes. "Why are you doing this?"

Perhaps it's an angel thing - perhaps it's an _immortal_ thing, more accurately - but Jun genuinely cannot fathom how someone would be willing to throw away the already-short life they have.

"Nobody will miss me," Dongho murmurs, staring down at the water below.

"That's not true."

"How do you know?"

"I'm an angel," Jun deadpans, and Dongho sighs, gaze never moving from the water.

"...yeah. Sure."

"No, really."

Jun hops up to sit on the bridge next to him, swinging his legs through the air, and Dongho gives him a dispassionate look before turning his gaze back to the water, darkness flickering in his eyes. "I know someone will miss you. That's how humans are designed."

Dongho gives him a look, then - the kind of look that says _"I think you're insane but I'll humor you"_ \- and Jun huffs, staring up into the sky.

Man, humans are rude.

"...look. I'll cut you a deal."

"I don't owe you anything."

"I will _cut you a deal_ ," Jun grits out, staring up at the sky. "Have you ever seen that movie, ah... _It's A Wonderful Life_?"

"Yeah."

"Great. That makes this a lot easier. I wanna do that."

"...why does that help me?"

"I'm an angel," Jun flatly states, internally flailing for something he can offer. "And if you... if you come with me and still choose to die, I can make it so... so you never existed. Either that, or... or I can make it so the others won't miss you as much."

Dongho stares at him for a moment before sighing, and he sticks out his hand, expression blank. "Sure. Do your thing, angel."

 _Score_.

If Jun can pull this off, he's _totally_ going to get assigned legitimate cases.

He grasps Dongho's hand, and the world fades to white.

* * *

When Jun opens his eyes, they're standing in the lobby of a building.

Dongho stumbles forwards a bit, blinking wildly at the scene around him, and it takes Jun a moment to remember that human's souls _are not supposed to be yanked through dimensions like this_.

Ah, well.

Small mistakes.

"They can't see us?" Dongho rasps, leaning over to rest his hand on a column. "Ah, fuck, my _head_..."

"They can't see us," Jun confirms, staring up at the front doors. "Hm. Looks like someone's coming this way."

Dongho instinctively steps out of the way as a dark-haired man barrels past, a guitar case on his back and circle-frame glasses askew on his nose. He rushes into the elevator, jabbing the "door close" button with his finger, and Jun drags Dongho through the doors just before they shut. 

"Kim Daehyun," Jun recites, summoning a list of information. "Without you there to recruit him to HCE, he never joined the company."

Daehyun sprints down the hall as soon as the doors open, and Jun and Dongho follow at a more sedate pace, watching as the younger man sprints into a practice room and promptly falls flat on his face.

 _Ouch_.

"Hyun-ah!" a brown-haired woman frets, racing forwards to help him up, and Daehyun grins dopily at her, something that can only be described as _love_ flickering in his eyes.

Ouch.

"I missed you!" he beams, leaning up to wrap her in a hug. The woman laughs for a moment before accepting it, and the pair share a kiss for a moment before Daehyun swings his guitar into his lap, smile bright and blinding and almost _painfully_ wide.

"I wrote you a song while I was on tour! Do you wanna hear?"

Jun stares at Dongho for a moment, taking in the almost _visceral_ pain in his eyes, and he stares down at the papers in his hands, heart falling to his feet. 

"He joined SHC instead," he slowly recites, "and became one of the top soloists in Korea, known for his soulful voice and guitar skills. He also never grew apart from Kwon Minyoung, and the two of them auditioned together, trained together, and eventually fell in love."

"He seems happy," Dongho murmurs, and Jun slowly nods.

"He- yeah. He is. How about we go see someone else, yeah?"

* * *

"What is this?"

Dongho stares up at the sign for an unfamiliar coffee shop, brow scrunched in confusion, and Jun points at the counter inside, where a dark-haired man scrubs a mug with a bright smile.

"Ahn Jaewon. He works as a barista for the coffee shop 'Coffee Days'."

Dongho dips his head in silent acquiescence, and the pair fall into an amicable sort of silence as they watch Jaewon work. It's calming, almost - watching the barista complete such small and simple motions - and for a moment, Jun's reminded of why he chose to work at Coffee Temple in the first place.

It's calming there. 

Reminds him a bit of home. 

Jun tugs Dongho to the side as a navy-haired man pushes the door open, and Jaewon raises his head, lips curling into a blinding grin at the sight of the new arrival.

"Joon-ah!"

"Won-ah!" the man exclaims, and Jaewon beams, rounding the counter and all but throwing himself into the man's arms.

"He's been dating SA1NT member Im Youngjoon for close to four years," Jun murmurs, gaze pinned on Dongho's face. "Youngjoon wants to propose this winter."

Dongho doesn't respond, instead opting to watch as the pair share a passionate kiss, and _wow_.

 _Ouch_.

Jun was hoping that Daehyun and Jaewon's lives would at least be the _same_ , not...

not so much better.

"Can I see my dad?" Dongho rasps, voice coming out low and _wrecked_ , and Jun nods, grasping his hand and taking them away in an instant.

* * *

"Appa!"

A small child toddles towards a gray-haired man, and as soon as he reaches him, the man scoops him up and places him in a high chair, stern expression softening as he pulls out a can of applesauce.

"I have your snack, master Dongho."

The child beams, and Jun turns to stare at the man next to him, wincing at the look of harsh _betrayal_ in Dongho's eyes.

Though, really, what did he expect?

Dongho - _this_ Dongho, not the child - never existed in this world. What, did he expect this man to be mourning someone he never knew?

Jun summons the papers anyways.

"Lee Jeongmin," he reads, watching as the butler scoops a bit of applesauce out of the can. "Since you were never born, he continued to work for the Kangs, and has since become their highest paid member of staff. He's their personal assistant, technically, but due to their busy schedule, has since become the full-time caretaker of Dongho."

Dongho watches for a moment, gaze pinned on Jeongmin's small smile, and Jun, wisely, chooses not to comment on the faint glassiness to his eyes.

He can't really blame him.

Angels don't have _family_ , per say, but he _knows_ this must be killing him. After all, he can hardly imagine losing the few people who've ever cared about him - and seeing someone's happier without your existence?

That has to sting.

"I don't know what I expected," Dongho murmurs, expression _achingly_ blank. "I always knew he'd be better off without me."

Jun reaches out for a moment - almost as if to offer condolences - before he withdraws his hand, a fresh stab of _pain_ shooting through his heart. 

He _genuinely_ did not think things would go this bad.

* * *

"Alright, who else can we check?"

Jun flips through page after page of papers, gaze flitting over the dark lines at an inhuman speed. "Your biological parents - they're the biggest tech company in the U.S. - your CEO - he's currently a manager for SA1NT and making _way_ too much money - your cat - he got adopted by a kid and is now at college with him-"

"What about Minsoo-yah?"

Jun's hands still on the pages for a moment, the leaden weight of _dread_ landing in his gut. 

He should've known this was coming.

"Lee Minsoo," he carefully replies, "is also an idol."

For everything Jun can say about Dongho, he can't say he isn't smart.

"He's under XR, isn't he?"

Jun hesitates, and that, more than anything else, confirms it.

Dongho tips his head back and stares up at the sky, deep gray clouds reflecting in his empty eyes. "...I think I've made my choice, Jun-ssi."

"Let me try one more thing," Jun begs, and Dongho simply blinks, expression completely vacant. " _Please_ , Dongho. Let me try something else."

"What else is there to try?"

"I'll-"

Jun cuts himself off.

"I don't know what I'll do."

There's a long, long moment of silence before Dongho dips his head, hollow gaze landing on the angel's slumped-over figure.

"Hm?"

"I don't know," Jun whispers, reaching up to rake a hand through his hair. "I don't... I don't know."

_"Dongho-hyung!"_

Jun blinks, head whipping around in an attempt to locate the source of the voice. "Wha- who-"

_"Hyung, where are you?"_

Of course.

 _Lee Minsoo_.

"Trust me," Jun breathes, and as Dongho opens his mouth to respond, the world turns to white.

* * *

"...where am I?"

Minsoo blinks once-twice-thrice, shaking his head in an attempt to clear the mental fog that's settled there. He's _sure_ he's not where he just was - _sure_ this isn't the bridge he was just on - but now he's standing in the lobby of a building that looks like XR, and there's a man standing in front of him who he doesn't recognize at _all_.

"Who are you?" he demands, and the man grins - small and weary - as he pulls a sheet of paper out of thin air.

"Lee Minsoo. Your dream was always to debut under XR, wasn't it?"

"Yeah," Minsoo huffs, folding his arms over his chest. "So what? And you didn't answer my question."

"I'm Jun," the man huffs, "your guardian angel. And I'm here to show you how life would've been if you _did_ debut under XR."

"...great," Minsoo mutters, reaching up to scratch his cheek. "What's the catch?"

"I'll get to that later."

Jun leads him through the lobby and to the elevators, and as they step into the lift, Minsoo's gaze is drawn to the pristine mirrors on the wall.

They must polish them daily.

He would expect nothing less from XR, though.

The elevator dings, and Jun leads them into a hallway that's _exactly_ what Minsoo always dreamed of.

Album posters line the wall, his own face staring back at him with a group of people he doesn't recognize around him. Their autographs are all scrawled at the bottom, and the album itself sits in front of them, the cover autographed as well.

He always imagined this, somehow. A shine to his own success.

"You're the leader of LEO here," Jun murmurs, tapping the poster. "You're the 'K-Pop Stars for the New Age', whatever that means."

Minsoo watches, heart in his throat, as a pair of boys race down the hall, laughter spilling from their lips and sneakers pounding on the floor. And following after them-

it's him.

"Oh," Minsoo breathes, watching as this version of himself chases after his groupmates. "Wow."

He looks-

he looks younger, less stressed, more perfect, more _happy_ , and Minsoo-

doesn't know how to feel about this.

He doesn't know what to feel, really, other than an all-encompassing _want_.

"Do you want this?" Jun asks, and Minsoo nods, words eluding him.

He wants this. _God_ , does he want this.

"Alright, then. Are you ready to know the catch?"

"Yeah?"

"You have to give up your best friend."

Minsoo blinks, and then Dongho's standing next to Jun, his dark hair hanging in his eyes and expression unreadable. And _fuck_ , he looks so _broken_ \- so small and tired and _empty_ \- and Minsoo's heart _aches_ at the sight. 

"Dongho-hyung?"

"This world can't exist without him in it," Jun murmurs, and Dongho bites his lower lip, pain flickering in his eyes.

"I don't... I don't understand."

"If you choose to," Jun explains, voice slow and measured as if he's talking to a child, "you can erase Dongho from the world, and have all of this."

What?

"Are you... are you insane?"

Jun looks dangerously serious, and that _scares him_.

"Trade Dongho...?" Minsoo breathlessly echoes, and _god_ , he can't believe this was ever a question.

This world is- this world is _perfect_. This world is happy and perfect and everything he ever dreamed of, but it doesn't have Dongho. 

And yeah, maybe he's famous here. Maybe he's- maybe he's the most famous idol in the world, where everyone knows his name and they sell out world tours in seconds. Maybe that's who this Lee Minsoo is.

But he's not the one making the choice.

The Lee Minsoo making the choice can't imagine a world without Dongho, and maybe he'll come to regret this later, but he's never had a life without his best friend, and he doesn't intend to start now. 

"I'm not taking your offer."

And _god,_ does the look of surprise on Dongho's face _kill_ something inside of him. 

"Are you sure?" Dongho murmurs, voice coming out low and hollow and _wrecked_. "It's everything you've ever wanted-"

"But you're not there," Minsoo insists, because that _really does explain everything_. "Nothing is perfect if you're not there."

"..."

"Have you made your choice?" Jun asks, and Minsoo blinks, because _didn't he just refuse?_

But Dongho nods, and Jun's expression flickers, and he realizes a second too late what's about to happen.

"Wait-!"

Dongho looks at him for a second, a million apologizes swirling in his dark eyes, and he grasps Jun's hand-

and Minsoo feels everything f

a

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**Author's Note:**

> this was written for day seven of d.min week 2021! prompt: free day
> 
> fic title from LEO by eve - the inspiration for this entire fic
> 
> god am i so glad i finally got to write a fic based on LEO
> 
> [twit](https://twitter.com/i_was_human_) | [lit fic discord!](https://discord.gg/CNunB74)


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